Feedback

• Great topic but question needs to be sharper/clearer
• Good to see media language being used- would be good to link mise-en-scene to the question
• is there any evidence of real life crimes copying GTA?
• Record and stats/financial aspects are important but need to link it to the question/ violence ... media debates.
• Big questions here about regulation and censorship 
• blame the game in each case (rather than gun, control, parenting)
• Daily mail article is relevant- but surely the problem is parents not the game. 
• use of online comments- good source of research provides contrast with theory/academic sources  
• similarly with other cases- there is an incentive to the blame in each case. 

WWW:

1. Good use of articles
2. The use of the online comments in the presentation 
3. Using Records/statistics to back your point
4. Media Language being used 
5. GOOD TOPIC

EBI: 

1. Need to make the question more clearer 
2. Link mise-en-scene to the question 
3. Link Records to the question 
4. Make the articles point more clear 
5. Need to look at other aspect of the violence not just the game e.g. parents

The first thing that I will have to do is make the question more sharper and focus the question on one side. I will have to look at the articles that I find in more depth and look at the other sides of the article e.g. The game might not be the only issue affecting parents it could be parents. I can't just blame the violence on the game and have to look at the other issues.